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Día de los Muertos: Remembering Our Pets
- Cait Deppe
- Oct 27
- 5 min read
Updated: Nov 11
When we remember our furry family members who have passed, we often experience a wave of emotions. Sadness, anger, happiness, and deep nostalgia can all surface. It's essential to allow ourselves to process these feelings, one by one. They remind us of how deeply we feel and how much love we have for those who are no longer with us.
As someone who believes in the afterlife, I find peace in knowing my loved ones are waiting for me. I believe they communicate through signs to let me know they are still with me. I want to share a couple of stories about my beloved opossum, Kiwi.
My Journey with Kiwi
For those who don’t know, Kiwi came to me as a rescue while I lived in Washington State and volunteered at a wildlife refuge. She was non-releasable due to losing her eyeball, making her susceptible to predators. She needed a forever home, and without hesitation, she became my adopted daughter. Kiwi had her own bedroom, traveled all over the Pacific Northwest with me, and eventually took a road trip across the country to move back east. She ran the house, played with the cats, hiked with the dogs, and even stole laundry to make nests. She had a strict diet, plenty of exercise, and lived to the high end of her lifespan.
Fun Fact: An opossum’s lifespan is typically 2-4 years.
Kiwi passed away on April 3rd, 2022, just a couple of days after her fourth birthday. To say I was devastated would be an understatement. Even though she had an amazing life and I knew this day would come, it didn’t matter. The hardest part of loving an animal is realizing there is never enough time.
Fast forward to July 2023. I unexpectedly found out I was pregnant. On my drive home from the hospital, I talked to Kiwi. Right before I turned the bend to pull into my driveway, a giant opossum ran out and stopped in front of my car. I had to smile, thinking she heard me. This felt like validation. I shrugged it off, thinking I lived in the country, and wildlife was everywhere.
When I got home, I went upstairs to grab my mail. I immediately ripped into a package from a friend, and there it was—an art print of an opossum. Tears streamed down my face as I said, “Okay, okay, you hear me.” Before I could open the rest of the mail, my phone lit up with a text from my landlord saying, “Feeding the opossum tonight,” along with a picture of an opossum on her outside banister. “OKAY!” I exclaimed, laughing through my tears. Kiwi was a trickster at heart. If I tried to ignore her, she would climb, zoom around, and paw at me for attention. Why would she be any different in the afterlife?
To this day, I still talk to Kiwi. She always lets me know she hears me. Whether it’s seeing opossums outside right after I talk to her, spotting them on TV, or receiving a meme from a friend, it always happens immediately after our conversations. Now, I know to listen to her signs the first time.
Finding Comfort in Grief
Finding peace in your beliefs can be comforting. But what about those who do not share the same beliefs? Here are some ways to find comfort while grieving your pet, even if you don’t believe in the afterlife:
Continuing Bonds
Grieving individuals may continue a bond with their pets in many ways, often without realizing these actions are healthy and meaningful for their emotional well-being.
Holding onto objects: Keeping personal belongings, such as a collar, a toy, or a blanket, can be comforting. Consider getting a custom keepsake like a paw ornament, or having their ashes or fur incorporated into a piece of jewelry or a portrait.
Engaging in rituals: Recognizing birthdays, passing dates, or adoption days in their remembrance can be a powerful way to honor their memory. Light a candle, say a prayer, or visit their favorite place in their honor.
Spiritual connections: Some people experience dreams or feel their pets close by. You might see signs they are listening, like hearing their name while on a walk or encountering an opossum unexpectedly.
Memory & Storytelling
Sharing memories with friends or family can be incredibly healing. It serves as a reminder that your pet mattered, that their life had an impact, and that part of them lives on in your memories, habits, and character. People often say that even if someone is gone physically, the ways they changed you don’t disappear. This helps maintain the bond.
Finding Purpose Through Their Legacy
Some find comfort by channeling their grief into actions that honor their pet's memory. A notable example is Adam Greenbaum, who created Love, Baxter in honor of his life-changing companion, Baxter.
Accepting Mortality & Impermanence
Without belief in an afterlife, death can feel more final. This reality can make the time we have seem even more precious. Some find peace by reminding themselves that life is temporary, which gives urgency and value to the present moment. In other words, significance may lie in this life and in behaving in ways you’ll be proud of now.
Expressing Grief Authentically
Letting yourself feel sad, angry, lonely, or regretful is part of the healing process. Denying the weight of the loss often delays healing. Many people find therapy, support groups, journaling, or creative outlets helpful for expressing what they’re going through.
What Might Feel Useful for You
Create a ritual or memorial of your own, such as a writing ritual, planting something, or an annual remembrance.
Write letters to your pet about what you’d want to say if you could.
Volunteer or contribute to shelters or rescues, whether they are larger shelters or breed-specific rescues.
Seek a grief counselor who isn’t religiously affiliated (a secular therapist or psychologist).
Keep a journal to jot down ways your pet shaped who you are or to reflect on a funny memory.
Engage in poetry, painting, or other creative work as a way to express and transform your grief.
As we navigate this week of remembrance, make sure to process your grief and make time for those closest to you—and for yourself. Do what feels right and healthy to honor your pet and the special lessons and life they gave you. Continue the bond, look for signs, and give yourself as much time as you need.
Please lean on your community or find one that sees you, hears you, and sits with your grief.
